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Breaking 

“They Killed the Woman,” Says Resident After Beating in Guaruja, Brazil

Oh I beg to differ, I think we have a lot to discuss. After all, you are a client. He taught me a code. To survive. You’re a killer. I catch killers. Finding a needle in a haystack isn’t hard when every straw is computerized. Somehow, I doubt that. You have a good heart, Dexter. Road Kill God created pudding, and then he rested. You all right, Dexter? I think he’s got a crush on you, Dex! I’m going to tell you something that I’ve never told anyone before. This…

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Tech 

Amazing Mars Rover Curiosity’s Martian Views

Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! It’s art! A statement on modern society, ‘Oh Ain’t Modern Society Awful?’! *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! Army of Ghosts You’ve swallowed a planet! I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I’m introducing myself. Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish. You know…

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Politics 

USA: Taking charge to form a community against Terrorism

Not tricks, Michael, illusions. Really? Did nothing cancel? Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer. There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor. Mr. F He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish. Oh, you’re gonna be in a coma, all right. Oh, you’re gonna be in a coma, all right. Marry me. I’ve opened a door here that I regret. That’s why…

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Breaking 

Fighter jets intercept plane that breached summit flight restriction

Corrupti quos dolores et quas molestias excepturi sint occaecati. Qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum. Corrupti quos dolores et quas molestias excepturi sint occaecati. Qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum. Temporibus Autem Quibusdam Et iusto odio dignissimos ducimus qui blanditiis praesentium voluptatum deleniti atque. Non numquam eius modi tempora incidunt ut labore et dolore magnam aliquam quaerat voluptatem. Temporibus autem quibusdam et aut officiis debitis aut rerum necessitatibus saepe eveniet ut et voluptates repudiandae sint et molestiae non recusandae. Qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est…

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Business 

Environmentally friendly solid wood chairs going to Milan Furniture Fair

But with the blast shield down, I can’t even see! How am I supposed to fight? Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. I want to come with you to Alderaan. There’s nothing for me here now. I want to learn the ways of the Force and be a Jedi, like my father before me. The Rebel Force I need your help, Luke. She needs your help. I’m getting too old for…

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Breaking Business 

How counterfeit cosmetics containing dangerous levels of arsenic are being sold online

I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals…except the weasel. I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. When will I learn? The answers to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV! Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. Radioactive Man…

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Tech 

Silicon Valley is fed up with slow Internet speeds

Burn her anyway! Well, we did do the nose. And this isn’t my nose. This is a false one. Am I right? I am your king. No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she’s got a wart. …Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? How do you know she is a witch? Be quiet! Bring her forward! Oh, ow! Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I’m being repressed! We want a shrubbery!! But you are dressed as one… And this isn’t my nose. This…

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